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[H1] Overcome libido issues
Rediscover the spark in your relationship with #1 app for libido challenges. take the assessmenthow it worksas seen inDiscover plenty of new pathways into your relationship: Daily Questions, Smart Journaling, Articles and much more.There’s no denying it – love makes the world go round. But most of us haven’t been shown how to look after it properly. That’s why we’ve developed a whole host of courses and exercises on the topic. There’s no denying it – love makes the world go round. But most of us haven’t been shown how to look after it properly. That’s why we’ve developed a whole host of courses and exercises on the topic. Created by experts using science-backed techniques, we help you explore and understand the most important relationship you will ever have.
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Hear from couples taking their love to the next level.SEE ALL STORIESMarco & AlexFind out how they de-stressed their marriage and turned a heavy burden into a bonding experience...read storyKim & JadeThey overcame perceived gender roles and mental load in their relationship by learning to listen to each other...read storyGinnyGinny and her partner on going from ‘never in the mood’ to ‘in it together', and realising it’s ok to have fun during therapy...read storyJess & Chris"Our kids destroyed our sex life" Read how one couple are reigniting as lovers while navigating being parents.read storySarah & TrevorSarah was experiencing pain during sex and at the age of 25, she wondered if she'd ever have sex again...read storyHow long does it take before I see results?Many Bluehearters tell us they feel a huge weight off their shoulders right away, feeling less alone and anxious after only a couple of sessions. You can see above for the extraordinary 2-week results, but the best comes from adding regular practice into your routine.What if my partner doesn’t want to do this?It can be hard when one of you isn’t as motivated as the other, a good way to deal with this is having an honest and open conversation about it. We have resources to help you with this. Our research shows that Blueheart is most effective when done together, but we do offer the option to join alone if your partner needs more time.Can we share one subscription?Of course! You only pay for one subscription between the two of you. So head to this page to find out how this works.How often a week should I do it?You can use Blueheart as much as you like, there’s enough content there for you to make it part of your daily practice. We advise at least two touch sessions a week, and no more than one Touch session a day. This is so you have reflection time on the session and let its benefits truly sink in. We’ll help you keep up the pace, and if you’re doing it with a partner, you can be each other’s cheerleaders.Are the sessions audio or video?Blueheart is a multisensory experience, we have a range of written and audio resources for you to explore. The reason audio works perfectly for this type of work is that you can lie back, listen and relax as we guide you through.Try Blueheart for freeRelationship Happiness: more love, more fun, and more of what makes you special together.Take the assessment
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[H1] Articles Library
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IntroWhat is low libido?Sex drive vs. libidoLow libido causesLow libido happens to everybodyLow libido in womenLow libido in menLow libido symptomsLow libido treatmentSex therapy: BlueheartMental health and libidoDepression and libidoAnxiety and libidoSexual anxietyStress and libidoPTSD and low libidoBipolar and sex driveBorderline personality disorder and sex driveHow lifestyle affects libidoStress and sex driveStress in a sexless committed relationshipMedication and libidoDrugs and sex driveWeed and sex driveSmoking and libidoAlcohol and sex driveWorking out increases your sex driveFood that increases libidoSo-called "sex drive foods"Vitamins for libidoDiet and libidoBeing too tired for sexLow sex drive before periodThyroid and sex driveDoes IBS affect sex driveDiabetes and sex driveCancer and sex driveIncreasing libido after breast cancerSexual problems and libidoErectile dysfunction and libidoAge and libidoParenthood and sex lifeYour relationship and libidoWhat to understand more about low libido causes?Blueheart's Sex Therapy
[H1] Low Libido Causes: A Complete Guide
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Reviewed by Dr Katherine Hertlein, written by Sophie Browness– published on August 19, 2021Libido is defined as our overall drive and desire for sexual activity. It’s the feeling of wanting to have sex. But it doesn’t work in the way many think. It’s not like our heart or our liver where it actually lives in our body working away constantly.Illustration by Marta PucciIt’s something that can come and go, over years, months, or even minutes. It fluctuates throughout our lifetime and that’s completely normal. It's important to know how different factors in your life can impact libido, to help you understand and normalise its changing behaviour. Having a good grasp of how our libido works, and what causes changes, can help us overcome any difficulties we may be facing in that area. Learning these things can have a huge positive impact on our romantic relationships.Whatever your situation, we're going to take a look at some of the low libido causes that exist. While there's no way to cover each potential reason, we've done our best to cover the vast majority. Hopefully, the information below can help you understand your issue and lead you toward seeking out a solution for improved libido. Let's get started.
[H2] What is low libido?
Low libido or loss of libido is a common problem among people of all genders, ages and backgrounds. It’s also known as low sexual desire or low sex drive. There is no ‘lower than average’ libido, or a ‘perfect libido’, there is only lower than it used to be, or lower than your partners which may be causing you distress or tension in your relationship.As you'll see below, libido is a complex thing. Many factors in our lives contribute to the increase or decrease in libido. If you're experiencing some trouble with your sexual desire, don't worry.We're complex beings, and there's a lot that goes into the way we think and feel. Sexual desire is subjected to all of the factors in your life, so remember that it's not your fault that things are going a little off.
[H2] Sex drive vs. libido
In a lot of cases, the terms sex drive and libido can be used interchangeably. If you want to be specific, though, there are a couple of differences.Sex drive refers to a person's motivation and desire to have sex. It's a more colloquial term than libido is, and actually is a bit of an unhelpful term. It doesn’t actually work like a ‘drive’ so much.The term ‘sex drive’ can be misleading us into thinking we have to feel this unmanagable force rocketing towards someone we find attractive at the drop of a hat. It’s ok to use whatever term you like, as long as you know the backgrounds and meanings of them.Sexual desire is the preferred term, because it represents the ‘wanting feeling’ for intimacy and sexual activity rather than something pushing or driving us towards it. Learning about how sexual desire works is a great place to start. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Integer sem nibh, pulvinar at ex sit amet, vulputate maximus dui. Vestibulum nec tincidunt libero.
[H3] Low libido causes
We'll discuss the many reasons why you might have low libido. Many of them are psychological, while others come from physical changes that a person is going through. A relationship might also change, leading to shifts in your or your partner's libido.The mind and the body can both be sources of trouble in issues of libido. That said, whatever the cause, there are ways to improve. First, though, you have to understand your issue so you can start to explore ways to get better.
[H2] Low libido happens to everybody
It doesn’t matter which sex or gender, age or sexuality, low libido can happen to us all. Below will detail the differences in libido in terms of sex. While acknowledging you may identify as another gender, there are some elements that differ. Overall, though, it is very much the same process for everybody.Illustration by Marta Pucci
[H2] Low libido in women
Women can experience low libido as a result of a lot of factors in their lives. Issues involving vaginal pain such as endometriosis or vaginismus, or bodily pain in other areas can decrease the individual's desire to have sex in the first place.Further, any number of medical issues might supersede the person's desire to have sex. Medications, unhealthy lifestyle habits, stress from work, stress from life, and confidence can all play a part as well.Mental health problems or previous, unresolved sexual trauma might also prevent someone from wanting or enjoying sex. There are also some milestones like menopause that could put a damper on someone's desire to have sex for a period of time.That isn't always the case, though, and menopause is not the end of your days of sexual pleasure, far from it in-fact many women have reported an improvement afterwards.
[H2] Low libido in men
Men and women share a lot of the same reasons for having low libido. Low confidence, medical issues, trauma, pain, lifestyle habits, personal biology, and more can all play their parts.It's important to note that each individual has their own relationship to sex and libido. While there are a few mechanical parts that a lot of us share, the rest of the equation really depends on how we feel, what we think, how we treat our bodies, and where we're at in our lives. We'll take a deeper look at these potential issues throughout the rest of the article.
[H2] Low libido symptoms
The symptoms of low libido will vary depending on who you are and how you respond to situations where you might otherwise want to have sex. That said, the dominant thread throughout cases of low libido is simply the lack of a desire to have sex or be sexual.So many emotions are tied up with low libido: feelings of shame, anxiety around sex, frustration, guilt or just numb. We feel as though we're supposed to be sexually active, and the lack of desire makes us feel as though something's wrong with us, like we’re broken. This isn't true. Libido waxes and wanes throughout the life cycle, and there's nothing uncommon about losing it for a period of time. It's something that can be embarrassing to talk about at first, but it's natural and doesn't say anything about you or your feelings for your partner. If you agree with some of these statements it’s likely you have low libido:I don’t like to be touchedI don’t enjoy touching myselfI never feel like having sexWhen my partner/s initiate sex I feel nothing or anxiousIt’s totally fine not to be sexual if you don’t want to, and you should never ever feel pressured into doing anything you don’t feel like doing.
[H2] Low libido treatment
It's possible to get treatment for low libido. Diagnosing the issue is the first step. Your treatment will vary depending on why it is that you're having low libido in the first place.The first step is to go to your doctor or GP to rule out any physiological reasons for your low desire. After that has been ruled out, you will then be able to explore therapy. Many people believe that therapy cannot help you if you have something physiologically wrong, but that’s not true. Depending on your issue, it’s highly likely that therapy will be a huge benefit to you in overcoming your problem.
[H3] Sex therapy: Blueheart
One option for you and your partner is to overcome your desire differences with the help of Blueheart.‍The Blueheart app can help you come to a new understanding of a number of issues. Learn about issues with libido, how libido works, and how differences in libido can impact relationships. Further, you can get actionable tips on how to overcome desire differences, manage anxieties and maintain a healthy relationship.There are more resources for you to explore as well. Take a look at some of the research-backed information we've got to offer in your journey toward a healthy relationship with sex and libido. Illustration by Marta Pucci
[H2] Mental health and libido
It's no secret that sex is as much in the mind as it is in the body. The physical side of things is important as well, but there's nothing that can stir up (or dampen) your libido like your thoughts.Whether those thoughts activate the libido or stifle it, it's clear that there's a direct connection between the two. Learning to manage those thoughts is a key part of Sensate Focus, a primary technique used to help those with libido problems.Your overall mental health and wellbeing can have an effect on your sex life. Even light anxiety can make a big impact on a person's desire to have sex. But just because you may have some issues, it doesn’t mean a happy and fulfilling sex life is impossible. There is help for you.Let's take a look at some common mental health issues that contribute to the state of your libido and sexual happiness. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Integer sem nibh, pulvinar at ex sit amet, vulputate maximus dui. Vestibulum nec tincidunt libero.
[H3] Depression and libido
Depression can cause a person to be incredibly tired, unwell, insecure, and sad. A low mood that sometimes prevents you from leaving bed can shut down all desire to have sex.The experience of depression is by no means uniform, though. You might find that you still want to have sex even though you're depressed. That said, the subjective thoughts and feelings that come with a bout of depression tend to lead toward physical manifestations of the illness.Low energy and motivation are a couple of those factors. If you're depressed, it is no wonder that libido drops. We tend to want sex when we feel good about ourselves and have the energy to enjoy ourselves in the process of sex. It might be tough to push libido issues out of your mind, but there's a good chance that recovering from depression will help you out of your slump in the bedroom. You may also find that your insecurities in the bedroom contribute to feelings of depression. The relationship between sex and depression can be powerful.Keep in mind that depression medication might have a strong effect on your libido. If your depression subsides, and your libido doesn't come back, you might speak to your doctor about changing things up.New medications of any kind can have a strong effect on libido, so keep that in mind whenever you're introducing a new substance into your system.
[H3] Anxiety and libido
Anxiety is another complex issue that plays a direct role in whether or not we want to have sex. Generally speaking, sex is an activity that comes out of a place of comfort, safety and relaxation.That is to say, that anxiety isn't really conducive to sex. In fact, it gets right in the way of all of the other thoughts that allow sex to unfold in a natural way. Anxiety might lead to overthinking, self-doubt, and fear in the bedroom.Even if your libido does fire up a little bit, anxiety might put it right back down. If you're someone who experiences a lot of anxiety, you might find that you have a hard time with libido. It’s very common to give it time to see how things go, but often it’s tempting to wait for it to go away on its own instead of addressing it.When things don't get any better, it may be a good idea to seek therapy to address your anxiety. Anxiety is a subjective experience, so it's important to approach it in a way that suits you. That said, treatment available designed especially to reduce anxiety around sexual experiences.
[H3] Sexual anxiety
Sexual anxiety can affect all genders, all ages, all backgrounds. It manifests itself as a feeling of dread, worry or numbness at the thought or suggestion of a sexual encounter. There can be differing levels of intensity of the feelings depending on the person, day, setting, partner. Sexual anxiety can also create physical symptoms like erectile dysfunction, trouble getting wet or trouble relaxing your body.Your mind can feel like it’s whirring with negative thoughts interrupting the moment, making it hard for you to get in the mood. This can have a negative effect on your relationships as it becomes difficult to connect with another person when you feel like you are struggling so much inside your head. It often leads to avoiding sex or touch all together.There is a way to treat this. It’s called Sensate Focus. It’s the core treatment used at Blueheart. It consists of a gradual reintroduction of touch along with education and sexual communication improvements. You’ll learn how to get out of your head and back to your body, ready to connect with yourself and others.
[H3] Stress and libido
Life is stressful. Perhaps more now than ever, so it’s no wonder you’re feeling stressed, and that stress is overflowing into the bedroom. There's a lot of overlap between stress and anxiety but they’re not the same thing.Stress could be affecting you even if you think you don’t have a particularly stressful lifestyle. Childcare, work, family, friends, money, life in general can all be stressors on our lives which in-turn affects our sexual desire.For example, let's say you have a lot to do at work. Your workload is big but manageable. A healthy amount of stress, also called "eustress," would motivate you to do your work in an appropriate amount of time.There are also instances when the situation is overwhelming and stress is the appropriate response.Distress, which is what we tend to call "stress," will overwhelm you and hamper your productivity. That kind of stress is the sort that doesn't do us any good. It's a biological response that steps over the line and only harms us.Stress is necessary, but distress isn't. When we experience distress, our bodies take a toll. Our minds suffer as well, and anxiety is a common side effect of distress.In that overwhelmed state, sex drive has a hard time shining through. If you're stressed and experiencing low libido, try to address the stress first and see if it takes care of the libido issue.
[H3] PTSD and low libido
PTSD is s

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