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[H4] Welcome
Welcome to Unmarried Equality. After 27 years of standing up for fairness and equal treatment of all people regardless of marital status, Unmarried Equality is pleased to announce a restart of the organization with a new Board of Directors. Because a large share of our constituency is single, we have changed our name to Singles Equality, but we have not changed our mission to stand up and support all unmarried people. We have a new web site: Singles Equality, with renewed, more up to date information. Unmarried Equality, will remain as an information resource about unmarried issues, although many pages have not been updated in a very long time. For more current information, we suggest you go to our new website.
[H4] Our Blog
[H2] Single Women in Iran: Courage amidst Extraordinary Challenges
October 6, 2025 Meet a brilliant and brave scholar and activist
[H2] Social Security Disparities Are Worse Than You Imagined
September 27, 2025 We are in the third full week of September and that means that it is National Unmarried and Single Americans Week. The Census Bureau used to issue a press release with relevant facts and figures, but for the past several years, they have not done so. Nonetheless, we will continue to mark the occasion. A […]
[H2] Unfair Treatment of Solo Travelers
July 13, 2025 Lately, I’ve been fantasizing about a solo trip to Hawaii toward the end of the year when, even here in sunny California, the days are not so sunny or warm. I spent some time on the Viator site, clicking various links to tours to read more about them. I love sampling different foods, so “We […]
[H2] What Project 2025 Has in Store for Anyone Who Is Not Married with Children
May 8, 2025 Project 2025, the blueprint for so many of the policies and goals of the current Trump administration, is a document of nearly 900 pages. The White House, with its compliant Republican-led Congress, has been plowing its way through the Project 2025 agenda on immigration, border security, the economy, trade, the environment, foreign policy, and defense. […]
[H2] Marriage Considered Not Very Important to a Fulfilling Life, U.S. Surveys Show
April 22, 2025 As we at Unmarried Equality advocate for the rights of people who are not married, we have an advantage that is not widely recognized: adults in the U.S. – and teens, too – do not see marriage as all that important to a fulfilling adult life.
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You are here: Home / Legal Information and Resources by State
[H1] Legal Information and Resources by State
The chart below provides a breakdown of legal marriage, domestic partnership or civil union laws in each state. UE does not have attorneys on staff and therefore cannot provide legal advice. Please reach out to your state bar contact or legal aid society for answers to your legal questions. Please note that income requirements for free or low-cost services vary by state. If you believe any corrections or updates need to be made to the chart, please email us at ue@unmarried.org. Watch this informative video about common law marriage: Common Law Marriage: How Facebook Can Help. *Thank you to the Human Rights Campaign for permission to access its legislative research.
[H4] ALABAMA
Common Law Marriage: Yes. 1) capacity; (2) an agreement to be husband and wife; and (3) consummation of the marital relationship. Find out more.
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: None
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Alabama State Bar
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Alabama Legal Help / Legal Services Alabama
[H4] ALASKA
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: None
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Alaska Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Alaska Law Help / Alaska Bar Association – Pro Bono Legal Service Providers
[H4] ARIZONA
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can register a domestic partnership in Phoenix and Tucson. They do not need to be residents of either city.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Public State Bar of Arizona
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Family Lawyers Assistance Project
[H4] ARKANSAS
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: In Eureka Springs same- and different-sex couples can register as domestic partners. They do not need to be residents of the city.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Arkansas Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Arkansas Legal Services Partnership – Family Law
[H4] CALIFORNIA
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: Between June 17 and November 4, 2008, more than 18,000 same-sex couples married in California. On November 4, 2008, voters in California narrowly approved Proposition 8, which amends the state constitution to prohibit marriage equality. Proposition 8 is currently awaiting a Supreme Court decision on its constitutionality. Same-sex marriages legally entered into on or before Nov. 4, 2008, in other states or countries will be recognized as marriages under California law. Same-sex marriages taking place in other states or countries after Nov. 4, 2008, will only be recognized as domestic partnerships
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: The state’s domestic partner law extends health care, estate planning and adoption benefits to unmarried couples who have registered as domestic partners. The law gives same-sex couples some of the essential resources necessary to protect their families and their relationships.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: The State Bar of California
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Law Help California
[H4] COLORADO
Common Law Marriage: Yes. A common-law marriage may be established by proving cohabitation and a reputation of being married.
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can register a domestic partnership.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Colorado Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Colorado Legal Services: Free or Low Cost Legal Services
[H4] CONNECTICUT
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can register a domestic partnership in Hartford and do NOT need to be city residents.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Connecticut State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Statewide Legal Services of Connecticut, Inc.
[H4] DELAWARE
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes (as of 7/1/13)
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same-sex couples can form civil unions.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Delaware State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Delaware State Courts: Legal Assistance
[H4] DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
Common Law Marriage: Yes
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can enter into a domestic partnership.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: The District of Columbia Bar
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Law Help DC
[H4] FLORIDA
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can register in Broward County, Key West, Miami Beach, Miami-Dade, and West Palm Beach. However one registrant must be employed by the county or be residents of Broward or Miami-Dade.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Illegal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: The Florida Bar
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Florida Legal Assistance to the Poor Directory
[H4] GEORGIA
Common Law Marriage: Yes, if created before 1/1/97
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same-sex couples can register as domestic partners in the Unified Gov. of Athens-Clarke County and Fulton County. They must be residents or at least one partner must be a county employee. Different-sex couples can also register in Athens-Clarke. In Atlanta, registering couples must be city residents.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: State Bar of Georgia
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Georgia Legal Aid
[H4] HAWAII
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can form civil unions. Any unions, domestic partnerships or same-sex marriages from other states would be recognized as civil unions in Hawaii. As of 1997, same-sex couples can enter into a reciprocal beneficiary relationship.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Hawaii State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Legal Aid Society of Hawaii
[H4] IDAHO
Common Law Marriage: Yes, if created before 1/1/96
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: No
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Idaho Law Foundation
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Idaho Law Foundation / Idaho Legal Aid Services, Inc: Client Services
[H4] ILLINOIS
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same-sex couples can form civil unions. Same-sex couples can register as domestic partners in Cooks County and the Village of Oak Park. To register in Oak Park, the couple must be residents. Same- and different-sex couples can register in Urbana and DO NOT need to be residents of the city.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Illinois State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Illinois Legal Aid: Helpful Organizations
[H4] INDIANA
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: No
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Judicial Branch of Indiana
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Indiana Legal Services: Find Legal Help
[H4] IOWA
Common Law Marriage: Yes. (1) intent and agreement to be married; (2) continuous cohabitation; and (3) public declarations that the parties are husband and wife.
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can register as domestic partners in Iowa City.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Iowa State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Iowa Legal Aid
[H4] KANSAS
Common Law Marriage: Yes. (1) have the mental capacity to marry; (2) agree to be married at the present time; and (3) represent to the public that they are married.
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can register as a domestic partnership in the city of Lawrence and DO NOT need to be residents.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Kansas Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: List of Free Pro Bono Legal Advice Programs in Kansas
[H4] KENTUCKY
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: No
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Kentucky Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Legal Aid Network of Kentucky
[H4] LOUISIANA
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: In New Orleans, domestic partnerships are open to same- and different-sex couples but they either must be residents of the city or at least one partner must be a city employee.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Louisiana State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Directory of Free and Low Cost Services in Louisiana
[H4] MAINE
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Yes, domestic partnerships for same- and different- sex couples. In Portland, registering couples must be residents of the city.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Maine State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Pine Tree Legal Assistance
[H4] MARYLAND
Common Law Marriage: No. However, Maryland does recognize common law marriages formed in other states.
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different- sex couples can register as domestic partners.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Maryland State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Maryland Consumer Rights Coalition: Free or Low Cost Legal Help
[H4] MASSACHUSETTS
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can register in Boston, Brewster, Cambridge, Nantucket and Provincetown and do NOT need to be residents of the city/county. Domestic partnerships are only open to same-sex couples in Brookline but there is NO residency requirement.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Massachusetts Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Massachusetts Legal Services: Directory
[H4] MICHIGAN
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Couples can register as domestic partners in Ann Arbor and DO NOT need to be residents of the city. With payment, notarized applications will be accepted by mail.
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: State Bar of Michigan
Living Together/Cohabitation: Illegal
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Michigan Legal Aid
[H4] MINNESOTA
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes (as of 8/1/13)
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Approximately 18 cities have domestic partner registries for same- and/ or different-sex couples. In the cities of Duluth, Minneapolis and St. Paul, same- and different-sex couples can register and do NOT need to be residents. In Edina, one of the partners must either be a city employee or resident. Domestic partnerships in Edina are open to same- and different-sex couples.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Minnesota State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Minnesota Legal Services Coalition
[H4] MISSISSIPPI
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: No
Living Together/Cohabitation: Illegal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: The Mississippi Bar – *The MS Bar does not offer referral services.
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Mississippi’s Legal Services Resource Center
[H4] MISSOURI
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can register as domestic partners in the city of Columbia. In St. Louis, registering same- and different-sex couples must be city residents. In Kansas city, couples DO NOT need to be residents to register.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: The Missouri Bar
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Legal Services of Missouri
[H4] MONTANA
Common Law Marriage: Yes. (1) capacity to consent to the marriage; (2) an agreement to be married; (3) cohabitation; and (4) a reputation of being married.
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: No
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: State Bar of Montana
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Montana Legal Services Association: Get Legal Help / Montana Law Help: Families and Kids
[H4] NEBRASKA
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: No
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: Nebraska State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Legal Aid of Nebraska: Apply for Help
[H4] NEVADA
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex couples can register a domestic partnership.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: State Bar of Nevada
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Nevada Legal Services Directory
[H4] NEW HAMPSHIRE
Common Law Marriage: Yes. Only posthumously, for inheritance purposes.
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Domestic partnerships have not been performed since legalization of same-sex marriage in 2011.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: New Hampshire Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: New Hampshire Legal Assistance / New Hampshire Bar Association: Free Legal Services
[H4] NEW JERSEY
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same-sex couples or different-sex couples over 62 years old can register as domestic partners.
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: New Jersey State Bar Association
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: Legal Services of New Jersey href=”http://www.probononj.org/web_applications/PBNJ/ProviderDirectory.aspx” target=”_blank”>Pro Bono New Jersey
[H4] NEW MEXICO
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: No
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: No
Living Together/Cohabitation: Legal
State Bar Contact – Find A Lawyer: State Bar of New Mexico
Free or Low Cost Legal Services: New Mexico Legal Service Programs
[H4] NEW YORK
Common Law Marriage: No
Same-Sex Marriage: Yes
Domestic Partnership / Civil Union: Same- and different-sex partners can register a domestic partnership and need NOT

You are here: Home / Blog / Single Women in Iran: Courage amidst Extraordinary Challenges
[H1] Single Women in Iran: Courage amidst Extraordinary Challenges
October 6, 2025 by Bella DePaulo Meet a brilliant and brave scholar and activist
Recently, I received an email from MahSa Hariri, who described herself as “an Iranian women’s rights activist focusing on the lived experiences and challenges or single women.” I didn’t realize just how extraordinary and brave it was to live as a single woman in Iran, or to try to become a scholar or an activist.
As you will learn from the interview below, MahSa Hariri was succeeding in her 20-year career in a large organization. She had excellent credentials and was doing great work. But when she wanted a promotion to manager, she was told she could not have that job because she was not married. She was given a one-year deadline to get married and then she could become a manager. Academia was a daunting experience, too: She was in a doctoral program but faced so much harassment and discrimination, she ultimately left.
In the email, MahSa Hariri was asking me to do an interview about my experiences as a single woman and what I’ve learned about singlism (the stereotyping and stigmatizing of single people and the discrimination against them). I agreed, and I will share that interview in a future story.
But far more compelling and inspiring than my own experiences are MahSa Hariri’s. I asked her if she would answer the same questions she asked me. I am so immensely grateful to her for doing so, and for all she is doing for single women in Iran. I think she will also make a difference far beyond her home country.
[H2] The Interview
Could you share some of your personal experiences as a single woman and how these have shaped your perspective on social discrimination?
Five years ago, I left a twenty-year-long and successful career in organizational work due to severe burnout, at a time when I had already been living independently from my family for six years, as a single and self-reliant woman. Shortly afterward, as I sought support from a therapist and a coach to navigate that difficult period and began my own journey as a coach and activist – I came to realize that what had led me to leave both my corporate career and my doctoral studies in Marketing Management was the experience of discrimination at the intersection of being a woman, being single, and being independent in a country like Iran.
I had felt gender-based discrimination since entering adulthood and university, during my undergraduate studies in computer engineering. Over time, I encountered more examples – lower pay, heavier workloads, and fewer opportunities. But things intensified after I turned thirty, when society began to view me as “past the age of marriage.” From that point on, being single – and later, living independently – added new layers of pressure.
As a single woman in a mid-level management position at a large organization, I was first denied a specialized role as brand manager. I was told that the position involved direct communication with the CEO and, therefore, could not be assigned to a woman. Later, I entered a different role as supervisor of digital communications, but was given a one-year deadline to get married, because “single women can’t be managers.” My professional performance during that year shifted some opinions, but the barrier to advancing toward the position of General Manager remained.
In academia, too, I faced harassment and discrimination as a single woman, which ultimately led me to leave my doctoral program. At first, I concealed my independent living situation due to cultural pressures. But once it became known, I was threatened with the loss of financial independence unless I accepted demands that violated my ethical and professional boundaries.
In our culture, being a woman, being single, and being independent are three taboo identities – markers of defiance that society is unwilling to accept. These are just some of the experiences I’ve faced – experiences that likely wouldn’t have occurred had I not been a woman, or single, or independent.

When and how did you first become aware of the specific discrimination faced by single women? What specific forms of discrimination have you experienced due to being single? What are some of the more common stereotypes about single women, and how do they differ from those about single men?
I first became aware of the specific discrimination against single women at the age of 32, when I was told I couldn’t be promoted to a managerial position because I was unmarried, and was given one year to get married to receive the role officially. At the time, I was a doctoral student with over a decade of professional and academic experience.
As for the types of discrimination I’ve faced solely because of being single, I’ve experienced unequal working hours, lower income, academic exclusion, difficulty renting a home, limited access to health insurance, and even biased behavior from neighbors after I became a homeowner, among many other examples.
Regarding the differences in stereotypes about single women and single men: because male singleness – historically tied to financial independence in patriarchal structures – has a longer cultural presence, it’s often attributed to a desire to avoid sexual commitment within marriage. Unfortunately, this same stereotype is projected onto women, even though religious and cultural conditions for women in Iran are entirely different. While sexual freedom for men is often tolerated due to religious interpretations, the same desire in women becomes a source of social and legal tension.
Moreover, due to the historical financial dependency of women on men and marriage, male singleness is seen as a sign of power or freedom. In contrast, female singleness is reduced to rejection or being “undesirable.” The woman’s right to choose—whether to accept or decline suitors- is rarely acknowledged, even when her desire to marry is assumed. In fact, the idea that a woman might consciously choose to remain single is almost absent from public discourse.
In the healthcare system, single women without a history of formal marriage face serious challenges due to the way singlehood is entangled with virginity and the legal requirement for paternal permission to marry, which, in effect, is treated as permission to “cross the threshold of virginity.” Lack of access to certain medical examinations and surgeries is just one part of the economic impact. Beyond legal barriers, cultural pressures also lead many unmarried women to avoid reporting certain medical expenses to insurance providers altogether.
Unmarried women who have never been formally married are required to obtain their father’s permission if they need surgery, especially procedures involving female reproductive organs.
In the workplace, particularly in some private companies, being single can benefit men professionally, while single women often face increased gender-based pressure and harassment.
These are just a few examples of the structural and cultural differences in how single women and single men are stereotyped and treated

What motivated you to begin your research and activism in this area?
Burnout and the emotional and physical harm I experienced due to discrimination -and the gender-based harassment and violence I faced in this context – led me toward research and activism. These experiences became a driving force behind my commitment to raising awareness about Singlism and the intersecting forms of discrimination faced by single women in Iranian society.
I believe that if I, despite having certain social and structural privileges, encountered such forms of exclusion, then the experiences of others at different intersections of Singlism and feminism – such as people with disabilities, trans women, and other marginalized groups – must be even more complex and severe. We need to engage in this field with greater sensitivity, awareness, and accountability.

4. From your point of view, what are the main priorities and strategies for advocating social change to improve rights and conditions for single women?
I believe that in Iranian society, the priority is to recognize and name the discrimination faced by singles – regardless of sex or gender. After that, we need focused research and activism within each group experiencing intersecting forms of discrimination – for example, independent, single, cisgender heterosexual women, of which I am one.
By expanding public awareness and producing locally grounded research, we can begin to mobilize demands and form diverse coalitions aimed at driving cultural and legal change. This path requires sensitivity, solidarity, and an intersectional approach that centers the lived experiences of marginalized groups in both analysis and action.

How do cultural, socio-economic, and geopolitical contexts influence the nature of discrimination against single women, particularly in comparison between different regions?
I’ll respond to this question with a specific example. In the area I focus on -independent single women, defined as those who are employed and live alone in their own homes – the concept of female independence clearly illustrates why, in a religious and traditional country like Iran, women’s autonomy can become a source of gender-based discrimination, harassment, and violence.
In some countries, it’s considered normal for children of any gender to become independent at a certain age. But in Iran, especially for daughters, this transition is often difficult. Women who choose to live independently, and their families, are frequently subjected to harsh social stigmas.
In our cultural context, a daughter is considered to be under the “ownership” of her father until that ownership is formally transferred to a husband through marriage. The idea of a woman choosing to live on her own, outside the ownership of a man, is deeply taboo. This example shows how cultural, religious, and economic factors strongly shape the nature of discrimination against single women, particularly those who are independent.

Intersectionality theory often overlooks the specific intersection of gender and marital status in its analysis of discrimination. In your view, why has the intersection of “being a woman” and “being single” remained relatively neglected in feminist discourse, and how has this affected the visibility of single women’s roles and contributions in broader social change movements?

In my view, aside from radical approaches, most strands of feminist thought, especially mainstream feminism, tend to be cautious and conservative. Just as many older-generation feminists have struggled with queer movements, because they challenge the patriarchal core of the nuclear family, they also tend to resist addressing discrimination against single individuals, particularly single women.
Internalized misogyny and family-centered values are so deeply woven into the fabric of many activists and scholars that any attempt to question the institution of marriage or the cultural elevation of family, even when critiqued within feminist frameworks, becomes unsettling when it involves accepting or promoting women’s singleness.
Moreover, singleness as a social identity, regardless of gender, has gained visibility only in recent decades. It remains a relatively new area of inquiry. In my opinion, these factors contribute to the neglect of marital status as a meaningful axis of discrimination in intersectional theory and feminist discourse, and this neglect has led to the marginalization or erasure of single women’s roles and contributions in broader movements for social change.

What are some major challenges you have encountered in your work, and what achievements do you consider most significant?
One of my main challenges at the beginning of this journey was finding the language and documentation to articulate the issue. I wanted to name my lived experience in a way that would be seen as legitimate, even among feminists, it was difficult to bring up. That changed when I discovered Bella’s research. Her work gave meaning to my life; it offered a clear term for my experience and helped me talk about it with others. After reading her articles and citing her research, my narrative finally gained recognition.
Another challenge has been getting single people themselves to acknowledge the existence of this discrimination, to understand that it’s real, not normal, and that something must be done about it.
My most significant achievement was initiating awareness-raising initiatives based on Bella’s research, and subsequently returning to university after a ten-year hiatus to pursue a master’s degree in Social Studies, to conduct localized research in this field. Speaking with well-known feminists about this discrimination also helped amplify the message through their platforms; even though I don’t have a large media presence myself, this was a meaningful accomplishment.
Now, after three years, even domestic newspapers have begun publishing articles about discrimination against singles, such as Dr. Simin Kazemi’s interview in Etemad newspaper on hiring discrimination, which is a major milestone.
Finally, as a coach, when I encountered coaching models for single people and saw how deeply they were rooted in couple-centric assumptions, I became concerned that the experiences of singles like me were being erased. So I designed my own life coaching model for single individuals, one that is more inclusive of diverse singlehoods. In addition, I developed the Identity Reconstruction Coaching Model, based on critical coaching, to help singles challenge dominant beliefs about marriage and singleness, and reconstruct their identities independently.

Looking ahead, what are your hopes and recommendations for advancing research and activism regarding discrimination against single women?
I hope that more single women from groups situated at diverse intersections of discrimination will engage in activism and share their stories. I cannot represent all of these groups, as my lived experience is limited and includes significant social privileges. What we need is for diverse communities of single women to come together and build a larger movement, one rooted in mutual support and collective efforts to improve conditions.
I invite everyone to share their experiences of discrimination on social media. By using the hashtag #StopSinglism, we can connect these narratives because #WeAreStrongerTogether.
[H2] About MahSa Hariri
Mahsa Hariri is a life coach, activist, and intersectional feminist focused on the rights and lived realities of single women in Iran. She is currently pursuing a master’s degree in Social Studies and researching Singlism and singlehood studies within Iranian society.
After 20 years of organizational work, including a decade in management, education, and consulting,

You are here: Home / Blog / Social Security Disparities Are Worse Than You Imagined
[H1] Social Security Disparities Are Worse Than You Imagined
September 27, 2025 by Bella DePaulo We are in the third full week of September and that means that it is National Unmarried and Single Americans Week. The Census Bureau used to issue a press release with relevant facts and figures, but for the past several years, they have not done so. Nonetheless, we will continue to mark the occasion. A very relevant just-published study is worth our attention, showing the importance of recognizing singlism. The study documents a particularly compelling example of how single people are treated unfairly.
[H3] How Is This OK?
Suppose all the citizens of a particular nation were required to make regular deposits of their own money into a savings account. They can start using the money in their accounts once they retire. But when they die, only certain people are allowed to give their money to someone else. For the others, when they die, they can’t give their money to anyone; the government gets it. Perhaps, for example, people with blue eyes, but not any other color of eyes, can designate a beneficiary.
That doesn’t happen. It would be ridiculous and indefensible. But something very similar does happen in the US with regard to Social Security. Workers pay into Social Security through payroll taxes and employers match those contributions. Under some conditions, when a worker who has earned Social Security income dies, their benefits can go to children or dependent parents. In the case of people who were married for at least nine months, their benefits go to their surviving spouse. Even an ex-spouse – or a series of them! – may be eligible if they were married for at least 10 years.
In contrast, a person who has never married (and does not have eligible children or a dependent parent) cannot leave their benefits to anyone – and no one can leave benefits to them. Those benefits go back into the system. But they were earned by the never-married people. That money was taken out of their paychecks just as it was for the workers who married. But instead of going to a person designated by the never-married worker, it goes back into the system, where it may be used, for example, to benefit someone’s ex.
[H3] It Gets Worse
Social Security greatly disadvantages people who are not married in another way, too, a new study by Deborah Carr of Boston University, Leping Wang of Vanderbilt, and Pamela J. Smock of the University of Michigan has shown. In their paper published in The Gerontologist, “Do Social Security benefits rules perpetuate marital status and gender inequities?”, they show that the amount of Social Security income that unmarried people receive is far less than what married people receive.
Social Security is designed so that married people have a big advantage that never-married people do not have: They can collect benefits based on their own earnings or up to half of the earnings of their spouse – whichever is higher. Never-married people do not have an alternative source of benefits that may be greater than their own. A little more than half of married women today collect their spouse’s benefits because those benefits are greater than their own, Carr and her colleagues report.
There is another way in which never married men are unfairly penalized. Social Security benefits are based on lifetime earnings. But single men are paid less than married men, not because they are less deserving but because they are targets of discrimination. In a controlled experiment, employers were shown resumes that were identical except that in one, the applicant was described as a married man, and in the other, as a single man. The employers who saw the resumes from a married man were more likely to want to interview him and pay him more.
In addition to documenting the disparities in Social Security income, Professor Carr and her colleagues also looked at overall household income, to see whether unmarried people made up for their lower Social Security benefits with other sources of income. They also looked at the potential implications of their lower benefits by examining poverty levels.
The analyses were based on data from 5,269 Wisconsinites born in 1939. Married people were compared to never-married people, remarried people, people divorced from a marriage lasting less than 10 years, people divorced from a marriage lasting 10 years or longer, people widowed before the age of 65, and people widowed at or after 65.
[H3] Social Security Income: Married People Get about $1,000 More Per Month Than Never Married People
For the married men in the study, their annual income from Social Security was $32,349. For never married men, it was $19,434. That means that unmarried men are only getting 60 percent of the income that married men are getting. Married men are getting $12,915 more per year than never married men, or more than $1,000 per month.
The remarried men earned a bit less than the men in their first marriage, $30,043. The various categories of divorced and widowed men earned between $22,109 and $23,318 – all higher than the $19,434 income of the never-married men.
For the women, the results were similar. Married women received $30,439 in annual Social Security income. Never-married women received just 63 percent of that — $19,224. The difference of $11,214 amounts to a monthly advantage of more than $900 for the married women.
Like the men, the remarried women received a little less in annual Social Security income than the women in their first marriage, $30,314 vs. $30,439. But for the women, the income of the never-married was not the lowest. Divorced women who had been married 10 years or more had an annual Social Security income of only $16,979 (compared to $19,224 for the never-married women). Divorced women whose longest marriage was less than 10 years received $18,223.
[H3] Total Household Income: Married People Have Much More
Social Security is not the only income potentially available to older people in the US. Some may also have wages, salary, private pensions, and other sources of income. Theoretically, people who are not married could make up with other income what they lose in Social Security. But that’s not what happens.
The total household income of never married men is only about half of the income of married men, $42,041 vs $83,394. Remarried men have even more, $85,810. The various categories of divorced and widowed men all have lower total income than the married men – between $54,113 and $66,146 – but more than the never married men ($42,041).
For the women, the married are again substantially advantaged. The never married women have total household incomes that are only about 60 percent of what married women have — $40,164 compared to $66,428, a difference of $26,264. The remarried women have even greater household incomes than the women in their first marriage, $78,007 vs. $66,428. The various categories of divorced and widowed women have total household incomes ranging from $42,176 to $47,456 – all higher than the $40,164 of the never married women.
[H3] Poverty: Married People Are Less Likely to Be Impoverished
Never-married men were about four times as likely to be living in poverty than married men, 15.9 percent compared to 4 percent. The divorced men were about twice as likely to be impoverished than the married men, 8.2 percent vs. 4 percent. Widowed men were better off if they were widowed before the age of 65 than after: 4.5 percent living in poverty vs. 7.4 percent.
Among the women, the never married are about twice as likely to be living in poverty than the married women, 15.8 percent vs. 7.6 percent. The highest rate of impoverishment for women, though, is for those who were divorced from a marriage lasting 10 years or longer. At 20.8 percent, their likelihood of living in poverty was even greater than that of the never married men (15.9 percent).
[H3] Men Do Better Than Women – with One Exception
For every marital status except one, men were better off than women. They got more Social Security income than women, they had higher total household incomes, and they are less likely to be living in poverty. The one exception was the group of never married people – the men and women fared very similarly in all three ways.
The social scientists suggest that there were no differences for the never-married group because this cohort, born in 1939, were unlikely to have children. Among the married or previously married, most did have children, and the women were likely to have been disadvantaged by the time they spent away from the workplace caring for them.
[H3] What the Research Does and Does Not Mean
If you are a retirement-age person who has never been married, what difference might it make in your life to have about an extra $1,000 every month for the rest of your life? That’s the average additional amount in Social Security benefits that married people get. That money could buy better housing, better healthcare, better nutrition, or other components of a good life. When single people are happy, healthy, and flourishing, that’s especially impressive because they are typically at quite a disadvantage financially.
The word “typically” is important. The findings from social science studies are averages, based on all the participants. That means that there are always exceptions. Some never married men and women will do better than the average married man or woman, for example.
The results from this study are about just one aspect of financial life, though a very important one – the amount of income people receive. When I talked to people who are single at heart about what they love about their single lives, freedom is always mentioned. That includes the freedom to decide what to do with their money – what to spend it on, for example, and how much to save. They also appreciate not being vulnerable to any potential financial recklessness or debts of a partner.
[Notes: (1) The opinions expressed here do not represent the official positions of Unmarried Equality. (2) I’ll post all these blog posts at the UE Facebook page; please join our discussions there. (3) Disclosure: Links to books may include affiliate links. (4) A shorter version of this article will be cross-posted at the Living Single blog at Psychology Today, with the permission of UE. (5)  For links to previous columns, click here.]
Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash
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Filed Under: Blog, Featured About Bella DePauloBella DePaulo (PhD, Harvard), a long-time member of Unmarried Equality, is the author of
Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life and Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After
She writes the “Living Single” blog for Psychology Today. Visit her website at www.BellaDePaulo.com and take a look at her TEDx talk, “What no one ever told you about people who are single.”
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